Tuesday, 10 March 2009

I have a headache!

...literally but hey ho! I don't get how it is easy to be all happy and sad and back and forth through these emotions in short spaces of time, surely one must outweigh the other. Not sure my waffle is making sense.
The move in schools is so far so good and Mikey is happy little bunny. It helps that his new LSA knows him very well and he adores and responds so well to her so I am very optimistic that this part of his life is a successful move and although the changes in routine is going to confuse him a little, he will come through smiling all the way as he does so well! Yet on the flip side a meeting this morning brings home reality of his health issues. I wish I wasn't so good at burying my head in the sand, then such things may not be such downers. Don't get me wrong the meeting was a success with prospects of new provisions being put in place to help him and me with his changing needs. But to hear sentences out loud like "life limited" and"health needs have been on a plateau but are changing" do get to you. The idea of the meeting is to get the "virtual" team together and discuss ways forward. Always a great idea as when so many people involved who are working to help Mikey, it is important they all work together even if not literally to make him happy and developing within his potential, which is where the virtual word comes from. So I came away happy that we are getting help needed but my head literally hurt with the reality of what is happening to my boy. But as I always say, Mikey keeps smiling so I have to, but sometimes you have to allow yourself to feel the negative emotions or you would pop...I am just aware that I am allowing myself these negative feelings alot more than I used to... perhaps it is part of the process of accepting our lot but its not good. I need to be happy and strong. If I crumble, my boy has noone to be strong for him. I know when he comes home tonight and smiles at me all will be well again, as it has to be and besides which, with a smile like Mikey has for me every day I can no longer feel sad, just pure love for my lil man.


  1. Hugs Lori, wish I had read this before we spoke. Sorry to run off as quick as I did.
    love and hugs

  2. thankyou hun, and dont worry. Our brief conversation cheered me up, not in our words perhaps (I hope you know what I mean about that one!) but hearing a friendly caring voice and a voice who understands. Many hugs to you too. Its horrible watching and being helpless to stop it all...meet you in the sand. Ear for you anytime. xxx